[Note: This message is a pasted copy of message #12205 from the Healing Tao USA discussion site, of the Title, Date and Time noted.  It was in reply to a post along the lines that always re-directing energy away from the sexual center, during intercourse, could - over the long term - be quite detrimental to the deep psychology of the lower centers.

 

The fact that Simon's post exists here does not imply his agreement with anything else on this website.]

 

Title - Re: abusive towards your kidney shen

Posted by Simon V. on January 22, 2001 at 13:58:16:

 

In the past I found that above all I was dissatisfied with the feeling that I needed to redirect my energy away from my penis to avoid ejaculation -- that is I felt this upon accepting the idea that ejaculating with every sexual encounter was not a good idea.

 

Since then I've found that I can have my awareness enter my penis, and then can merge with a very satisfying energetic sharing of my partner's pleasure.  I'm quite sure that this merging increases her pleasure -- each time there is an obvious positive reaction, a quickening toward her own orgasm, just from the action of mentally relating to the energy in this way.

 

The idea is definitely also to give away energy from the penis to her (Chia mentions this), also from the tip, which allows for really being with the experience, including during her orgasm, without yourself ejaculating -- the energy doesn't then concentrate into an explosive charge.

 

This doesn't mean of course that I don't use other techniques, or that I don't infrequently ejaculate.

 

First I gained experience and slowly began to trust that this was possible.

 

Simon

 

 

[...and an excerpt from an e-mail conversation...]

 

Actually I've thought exactly that -- that the g-spot is a good place to concentrate the exchange and have found that this bears results.  ...

 

I've found that overall mixing attention via the penis inside the vagina is the thing that works for me though, particularly as regards to really riding out the female climax without sacrificing my own intense engagement.  Focusing on the tip works for intensifying but doesn't seem to be as important to me as this overall mixing of presence in there, resulting in a really subjective feeling of sharing in her inner experience.

 

It definitely involves giving away rather than holding in, a letting go of boundaries which of course is also a poised meditation state.

 

Simon

 

 

 

 

WEBMASTER's NOTES:

       The Tibetans say that there is a chakra at the "tip of the jewel".

       The tip resonates with various of the upper centers, towards the base resonates lower, denser.

       The underside of the penis is "feeling", yin, and the upper side is yang.  It's helpful to be aware of that, and how there's the connection with du and ren.  (And I'm not saying that the connection is one fixed way, just that there is a dynamic.)